Shame on me.....

I just reread my updated last post....my stomach turned.

This trip is not about me.  This trip is not about us.  This rain and flooding has next to nothing to do with me.  It hardly touches my life.  My physical world is barely different than two days ago.

These past two days, I saw homes and businesses and shacks filled with flood water.  I saw children playing in trash filled mud puddles.  I saw roads and bridges crumbled under water.  Garbage lined where water stood yesterday.  I saw the locations of where neighborhood trash dumps are....in the middle of their main areas.  I saw leg less men begging for money.  A handless man knocked in my window.  I saw farm animals and children sharing a small muddied yard.  I saw women hanging freshly rained on cloth in their clothes line hung from gated holes in their cinder blocked walls.  I saw red mud hut homes with women and children doing their daily task on top of rain destruction. Mosquitos and disease are breeding as I type....from my comfortable couch with mosquito netted beds and running water.

I saw all this from my car seat behind a locked door and a rolled up window headed for the beach to figure out the new plan of this trip.

My mind cannot make these worlds mesh.

So many have lost everything.  Their homes are gone.  Their businesses gone.  Some family gone.  I am disappointed that my chance at a safari is gone???!!?!?  What?!!?!

Shame on me.

Sure, my heart and mind are razzled by what my eyes have seen abd i will forever remember. But the unfair truth is that I will board plane and return to life with a story and some souvenirs on the outside....while people here have to start life over.  Or beg for money.  Or sell themselves and their services to eat....rice.

 Pray for THEM!  Pray for them to see Love in some way.  Pray for them to find true Peace.
Pray that before they leave this cursed sinful world, they will know the Lover of their Soul....Jesus!


(I hope you get this......I pray you will forgive my selfishness and know that I understand this is not about me.....)